Current:Home > MyHis wife was hit by a falling tree. Along with grief came anger, bewilderment. -VitalWealth Strategies
His wife was hit by a falling tree. Along with grief came anger, bewilderment.
TradeEdge Exchange View
Date:2025-04-09 22:15:01
Grief affects us all – but not in ways we always consider. People die, yes, but so do pets. We can grieve dreams, jobs, our health, past versions of ourselves. Grief is not linear; it does not come in stages, a common misconception. It's unique to the individual.
After embarking on a series to document different grief journeys, we asked for your input. What kinds of grief had you experienced? Would you be willing to share your story publicly?
With more than 120 responses and counting, here's a look at what some of you shared. You can submit your own story here.
Bill Badgley, 72
"(My wife) Carol was hit by a falling tree as she walked home. She was found by a neighbor. By the time I was notified and could get to the scene, she was in an ambulance but a pool of blood and the downed tree were still there. In the ambulance, the blood was soaking her pillow, but she opened her eyes when I spoke her name. The tree broke ribs and vertebrae and caused a traumatic brain injury. A piece of her skull was removed to allow for swelling of the brain. Carol lived for 11 weeks in the hospital where I went to be with her every day.
The day before she died, she fought to come back a last time and returned my kiss twice, the only time this happened in the 11 weeks. I wrote and delivered Carol’s memorial service. I needed to do it. I focused on four lessons that Carol had taught me, the most important being that love is the miracle. Our grave marker will say as much. Now that she’s gone, the trauma of the event and the hospitalization does not recede. I remain angry and bewildered about how this could happen. How I see nature and life has changed. I am incredibly lost without Carol. I am diminished and no longer whole. I have a small urn with some of her ashes. There are pictures of her on either side. There is a sculpture of a loon, Carol’s favorite bird. There are some shells that we collected together on Sanibel Island, including left and right angel wing shells. I greet Carol every morning. I speak to her before bed. 'I love you. I miss you. Please be with me when you can. Please wait for me.'"
Melissa Monroe, 54
"When a military friend pointed out that the paralyzing guilt I suffered after my 2-year-old daughter Alice died of Sudden Unexplained Death in Childhood (SUDC) was a product of PTSD, I dismissed him. 'I have not been to war! My symptoms do not deserve to be considered PTSD.' I argued. As an acupuncturist specializing in mental health, I was familiar with the signs. Still, I had not recognized them in myself until my friend’s patient insistence led me to consult the checklist. Then I realized he was right.
I was one of the increasing number of bereaved parents who experienced traumatic guilt, which is associated with heightened suicidal ideation. Trauma-related guilt commonly presents with both grief and PTSD but is less widely discussed than other symptoms. It can occur following any type of loss but is particularly predominant among bereaved parents."
In case you missed:My dog died two months ago. Pet loss causes deep grief that our society ignores.
Brooke Westlake, 42
"I was my grandma Bev's primary caretaker ... she had Alzheimer’s for 10 years … When she died it was just me and her. I was holding her. She took one breathe and left. It was like I watched her soul float away.
Her only child and son, and my biological father died three years later. His death was pretty horrific and heartbreaking. He had struggled with drug and alcohol addiction his entire life.
July of 2022, I helped my stepfather with end of life care. We got five lovely days together before he started the transition. I helped my mom with the process, because she had never been through the death process. And April of this year (2023), my grandpa Don, my father's dad, died. I was able to see him before he passed, but it was also overwhelming to know that was the last time we would see each other. I tried to stay positive the entire time, but broke down crying on and off. It’s been several years of grief stacked up on top of each other. Some days I’m grateful that the people I love are no longer suffering and then other days I just wish they were still here, so I could see them, hug them, laugh with them, cry with them, talk with them. All these wonderful people I have cherished and lost have all one thing in common. We all loved laughing together.
In 2024, I’m getting a very specific tattoo for each of them on their birthdays with their signature, from how they would sign cards or letters to me."
If you or someone you know may be struggling with suicidal thoughts, dial 988 to reach someone with the Suicide and Crisis Lifeline. They're available 24 hours a day and provide services in multiple languages.
If you'd like to share your thoughts on grief with USA TODAY for possible use in a future story, please take this survey here.
Have you seen?'The Golden Bachelor,' 'Selling Sunset' and grieving on TV
veryGood! (71696)
Related
- Are Instagram, Facebook and WhatsApp down? Meta says most issues resolved after outages
- UNLV gunman was unemployed professor who had 150 rounds of ammunition and a target list, police say
- Hundreds of Slovaks protest the new government’s plan to close prosecutors office for top crimes
- Ospreys had safety issues long before they were grounded. A look at the aircraft’s history
- Which apps offer encrypted messaging? How to switch and what to know after feds’ warning
- Shots fired outside Temple Israel in Albany, New York governor says
- Mother of Florida boy accused of football practice shooting now charged with felony
- Virginia expects to wipe out pandemic unemployment backlog next summer
- Off the Grid: Sally breaks down USA TODAY's daily crossword puzzle, Hi Hi!
- Indonesia’s youth clean up trash from waterways, but more permanent solutions are still elusive
Ranking
- Charges tied to China weigh on GM in Q4, but profit and revenue top expectations
- CosMc's: McDonald's reveals locations for chain's new spinoff restaurant and menu
- Dump Bill Belichick? Once unthinkable move for Patriots might be sensible – yet still a stunner
- LeBron James, Bucks among favorites as NBA's wildly successful In-Season tourney concludes
- Military service academies see drop in reported sexual assaults after alarming surge
- Scientists: Climate change intensified the rains devastating East Africa
- Washington Post strike: Journalists begin 24-hour walkout over job cuts, contract talks
- 23andMe: Hackers accessed data of 6.9 million users. How did it happen?
Recommendation
Bill Belichick's salary at North Carolina: School releases football coach's contract details
Early retirement was a symptom of the pandemic. Why many aren't going back to work
German rail workers begin 24-hour strike as pay talks stall
'Anselm' documentary is a thrilling portrait of an artist at work
Israel lets Palestinians go back to northern Gaza for first time in over a year as cease
NFL Week 14 picks: Will Cowboys topple Eagles, turn playoff race on its head?
Hunter Biden indicted on nine tax charges, adding to gun charges in special counsel probe
House censures Rep. Jamaal Bowman for falsely pulling fire alarm