Current:Home > MarketsPsychopaths are everywhere. Are you dating one? Watch out for these red flags. -VitalWealth Strategies
Psychopaths are everywhere. Are you dating one? Watch out for these red flags.
View
Date:2025-04-26 02:53:25
Psychopaths aren't just found in prisons, true-crime documentaries or horror films; some walk among us.
In fact, you probably know one.
"Everybody knows somebody with psychopathy," Abigail Marsh, a professor of psychology and neuroscience at Georgetown University and the co-founder of Psychopathy Is, an organization dedicated to alleviating suffering caused by psychopathy, says. "You might think that this issue doesn't relate to you, but it does. You definitely know least one person who has psychopathy."
Psychopaths don't experience empathy, guilt or remorse; as a result, they have no problem hurting or exploiting others to get what they want. They make great serial killers and CEOs − and they can be very attractive when it comes to dating, Judy Ho, a clinical and forensic neuropsychologist, says.
"Some of the psychopath tactics for how to get close to people and gain their trust, it can feel very alluring in the beginning," Ho says, adding that about 1-3% of the general population, as well as 6-8% of leaders and executives, are psychopaths. "You finally find somebody who really understands you and cares about you, and so it's just easy to put the blinders on and ignore the signs that it's not going well and that there's something maybe sinister underneath."
What is psychopathy?
Psychopath is a colloquial term used to describe someone with traits of anti-social personality disorder.
Traits of psychopathy include impulsiveness, boldness and a "dominant, fearless personality," Marsh says, but "meanness is really the heart of psychopathy" as well as "a callous and uncaring attitude about other people's welfare."
Both social and genetic factors can push someone to anti-social behavior, and many psychopaths come from loving homes, Marsh says.
Ho says psychopathy is a spectrum and that psychopaths can be talented at "moving a company or an organization forward."
"When you get into the more severe aspects of the spectrum, then we're looking at things like a lack of empathy, using people as pawns for their goals without care for their feelings or what they want, some narcissistic qualities that are very self-centered, being upset whenever they feel like somebody is arguing with them or criticizing them in any way, even if it's constructive and well-meaning," Ho says.
Are you dating a narcissist?Watch out for these red flags.
To a psychopath, the only thing that matters is getting what they want − and they don't care who they hurt or wrong in the process.
Though psychopaths don't care about others, they can still be motivated to date if doing so will help them achieve a desired end. For instance, a psychopath might seek out a relationship in order to financially exploit someone, distract from other nefarious activities or simply to have sex.
"You actually see this with serial killers, mass murderers − they seemingly have normal lives," Ho says. "A lot of them actually were married and had children, for example, and actually kept up with some semblance of employment so that the community wouldn't necessarily suspect them."
Is narcissism genetic?Narcissists are made, not born. How to keep your kid from becoming one.
Like narcissists, many psychopaths seek admiration; however, while narcissists do this to feed their egos, psychopaths view admiration as a tool to help them get what they want, Marsh says. Many psychopaths also truly believe they can outsmart everyone else, though Ho says it's a myth psychopaths are more intelligent than the general population.
"Everything is instrumental," Marsh says. "Everything is about just achieving a goal, and so they want admiration and status and esteem because it's useful. Getting those things will help you get what you want."
Narcissists have a type.Are you a narcissist magnet? Here's how to tell.
Are you dating a psychopath? Here's how to tell:
Psychopaths are hard to spot, and usually their manipulation can only be clocked when it's done unskillfully, Marsh says. Here are the red flags to watch for in case your date is a psychopath.
- They love bomb strategically: "It's not just love bombing for the sake of love bombing," Ho says. "They tend to get more specific. They'll find something that's really personal to you and then essentially look like they're making it their life's goal to make that part of your life better for you."
- They seem overly generous: Gifts from a psychopaths often have strings attached. "They might be trying to manipulate you by giving you all the things they think you want, and then now you'll feel like you're in their debt," Marsh says.
- They keep the focus on you: Unlike narcissists who need the spotlight, "psychopaths talk about you on the first date, but it's all very strategic," Ho says. "It's trying to get information, know where your weaknesses are, know where you're hurting so that they can actually utilize that to bring you closer to them."
- They want you isolated: "As you start to trust them more, they start to gradually distance you from the rest of your life," Ho says.
- They crave control: "At first they'll say, 'Let me just have you turn on your location on your phone, so that I can make sure you get home safe from work.' But then after that, it's like, 'Well, let's just have your location on all the time,' " Ho says.
- They disappear without a trace: Psychopaths have difficulty keeping long-term commitments, like jobs or relationships, Ho says. Be on the lookout if your date has a spotty work history or other inconsistencies in their background. "They kind of jump from job to job and relationship to relationship, and then, whenever somebody doesn't give them what they want, then they kind of just move on," Ho says. "When things don't go their way, they disappear, so you never really get a chance to actually see them really at their complete worst."
More:What happens when a narcissist becomes a parent? They force their kids into these roles.
veryGood! (88757)
Related
- Jamie Foxx reps say actor was hit in face by a glass at birthday dinner, needed stitches
- Black veterans take 'honor flight' to Washington monuments to celebrate Juneteenth
- More Musiala magic sees Germany beat Hungary 2-0 and reach Euro 2024 knockout stage
- Celtics have short to-do list as they look to become 1st repeat NBA champion since 2018
- Alex Murdaugh’s murder appeal cites biased clerk and prejudicial evidence
- Here’s where courts are slowing Republican efforts for a state role in enforcing immigration law
- Missing toddler in foster care found dead in waterway near Kansas home
- Track legend Carl Lewis says no one can break Olympics record he holds with Jesse Owens
- Kylie Jenner Shows Off Sweet Notes From Nieces Dream Kardashian & Chicago West
- A new 'Game of Thrones' prequel is coming: 'A Knight of the Seven Kingdoms' cast, release
Ranking
- Scoot flight from Singapore to Wuhan turns back after 'technical issue' detected
- Alberto, season’s first named tropical storm, dumps rain on Texas and Mexico, which reports 3 deaths
- Alberto, season’s first named tropical storm, dumps rain on Texas and Mexico, which reports 3 deaths
- Noam Chomsky’s wife says reports of famed linguist’s death are false
- Scoot flight from Singapore to Wuhan turns back after 'technical issue' detected
- Judge rejects mayor’s stalking lawsuit against resident who photographed her dinner with bodyguard
- Sinaloa Cartel laundered $50M through Chinese network in Los Angeles, prosecutors say
- Devils land Jacob Markstrom, Kings get Darcy Kuemper in goaltending trades
Recommendation
'Malcolm in the Middle’ to return with new episodes featuring Frankie Muniz
What You Need to Know About Juneteenth
Novak Djokovic will compete at 2024 Paris Olympics for Serbia after meniscus tear in knee
Unloaded weapons don’t violate North Carolina safe gun storage law, appeals court says
US wholesale inflation accelerated in November in sign that some price pressures remain elevated
'The Blues Brothers' came out in June 1980. Is there a better Chicago movie? Not for me
Romanian national pleads guilty to home invasion at Connecticut mansion
North Carolina revives the possibility of legalizing medical marijuana